Untitled
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reblog if you’re satan
(via guitar-god3)
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(via guitar-god3)
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I want to hug you (◕‿◕✿)
And kiss you (◡‿◡✿)
And maybe bite you just a little (⊙‿⊙✿)
(via guitar-god3)
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*Twenty Years From Now*
- Daughter: Mom, I like this band...
- Me: Oh my god. I'm so sorry.
- Daughter: wha-
- Me: I'll go call your teachers.
- Daughter: Why are y-
- Me: Just to let them know that your grades will be dropping.
- Daughter: Why will my-
- Me: I'm afraid it's all downhill from here.
- Daughter: Mom, what are you even ta-
- Me: Want me to help you with your blog?
- Daughter: I don't even have-
- Me: You will.
- Daughter: But-
- Me: Shh. It's already done. There's no turning back.
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me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds
Jesus Christ what is happening
we’re going to mcdonalds
(via guitar-god3)
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Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
ILL FIND YOU GUYS
(via guitar-god3)
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- (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
- Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
- Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
- Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
- Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
- Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
- (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
- Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
- (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
- Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
- Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
- Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
- (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
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I don’t care how many times this appears on my dash I must reblog it every time.
(via guitar-god3)
